BLOWHARDS! 1984 Kawasaki GPz750 Turbo …

I thought I was picking up a new Z H2 naked at Kawasaki, but there was some miscommunication. I got this H2 Carbon instead, the full-zoot sport version barely removed from the track-only H2R instead of the slightly tamer naked I was expecting. Damn the luck! I’d really prefer to be sat a bit more upright. When I climbed on and reached for the clip-ons, the H2 Carbon hurt my lumbar and impinged upon my liver compartment. Then it cracked my knees when I picked my feet up onto the pegs. And the way the thing revved and the supercharger chirped in the parking lot frankly was a bit frightening. It seemed angry. This is ridiculous. Nobody needs a motorcycle like this outside of the Bonneville salt flats.

Eight minutes down the road, I realized again what an ass I am. I was so busy aiming and zotting along, whatever complaints my back and knees had were drowned out in the wind and adrenaline. Like being dead after a long disease and disconnected from all pain, suddenly I was nothing but a pair of veiny Von Dutch eyeballs attached to a primordial brainstem blasting through space. While trying to not get a really expensive ticket.

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